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While I fell romantically in love with him, the most he could muster was platonic love for me combined with enjoying our sex. It was always for a big tip. Besides, it bears repeating with a few of my own pointers. Research with this population is difficult due to the challenges of reaching these men—the majority of whom keep this activity covert. They get a thrill out of controlling and manipulating others to do what they want to serve their own purposes. I will not tell him I feel that way, I will always assure him it don't bother me so he is comfortable.

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It was a few days just before Thanksgiving and everyone had left campus to go home for the holiday, except for me and two other guys staying in the dorms.

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Another described a 'glory hole' set up in their apartment, where anonymous men could come to get off, without knowing the gender or identity of the person on the other side. This is a slippery slope toward sexual addiction; how much is too much novelty? They are straight to me. Kudos to your brother for being strong mentally with his lifestyle.

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But there are sturdy incentives in place for them to not take that step of identifying, or identifying fully, as gay or bi.

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