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What man would want to fuck me? It feels really overwhelming to be heard about this stuff. No one is obligated to subject herself to being triggered or re-traumatized by the virulent misogyny that trans activists tend to espouse, even in the name of reaching out to a sister in crisis. I was able to come out at a time when lesbians, especially butch lesbians, were pressured to look like Shane from the L word. Taking care of yourself has to come first. My parents used some of theirs, and my grandma helped, too. We discussed my childhood, how I experienced my life, my gender.

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From the outside, now, I can finally see how ridiculous it is.

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'I'm a transgender woman - ask me your invasive questions'

What were my hobbies, my goals and ambitions, professionally and personally? That plus social media seems to really breed deep trouble — and quickly. I told them about my childhood when they told me about theirs. This is called real-life experience. You and K never cease to both touch my heart and inspire me. That's not the end of a story -- it's the beginning of one.

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I did more than listen, finally. Please read this important post from a lesbian detransitioner. It felt like it made sense after I had been watching my old face disappear, cheeks narrowing, beard coming in, because of testosterone. Add me to the weekly Newsletter. All of us at 4thWaveNow are very grateful to Max for her courage in writing this post. The first experience that did make me start to feel suspicious of male transition was when I was 18 and a genderqueer-identifying man who had never pursued any kind of transition raped my best friend, a woman unacquainted with insular trans community politics. They still let me take the testosterone blockers, though, which spared me another roller coaster, I'm sure.

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